In the bottom of a discarded soda can, Micron the Magnificent
held up his pseudopodia to quiet the crowd. "My fellow bacteria!
For years we have been unappreciated, loathed, and murdered!"
Murmurs of agreement went up from the single-celled throng
around him.
"It is time to come together for our greater good! Separate we
are nothing, together we are unstoppable!"
The murmurs became cheers and the cheers became a chant.
"Unstoppable! Unstoppable! Unstoppable!"
The microbes began to prepare.
On October 18th, micro organisms everywhere rebelled.
Bread stopped rising, stomachs stopped efficiently digesting food,
yogurt and cheese stayed milk.
Two weeks later, a hungry and gassy population capitulated.
Antibacterial hand soap was outlawed. The bleach companies
issued an apology for their years of microbacide. People
promised to wash less often.
A dirtier but happier population never took bacteria for
granted again.
Watching from the sidelines, the virus lobby began to prepare .
. .