"I can’t understand what you’re saying," Burns told the humanoid.

The creature twisted his nose and pulled both ears twice to activate his voice translator.  "Can you understand me now?"

"Yeah. So, what can I do for you Mister—"

"Glixi.  I understand you find lost things.  Is that true?"

"Depends on what it is.  What did you lose?"

"My youth."

Burns grabbed a bottle of cheap whiskey and took a big swig.  "Where do you think it happened?"

"Zip-Mart."

"Which one?  There’s so damn many of them."

"The one on the dark side of the Moon."

"Ah well, that explains it all," Burns said.  "It’s so dark up there, folks are liable to lose anything.  In fact, they often do.  So, I assume you want me to find it?"

"Yeah.  I’m not having fun being old."

"I know what you mean," Burns said, pointing to his own white hair.  "So, how old are you really?  I mean before you lost your youth at Zip-Mart?"

"Four."

"Oh brother!  You sure lost it in a BIG way.  I don’t blame you for wanting it back.  I’ll take your case on a contingency basis.  You pay only when I recover your youth.  Well, I mean your parents will have to pay, because when you get your youth back, you’ll only be four.  What’s your phone number?  I’ll call them to see if they agree."

"I don’t know.  Remember, I was only four years old."

Burns was unable to find the parent’s phone number through his computer. Sun spots were causing havoc with interplanetary data retrieval systems.

"I can’t get their number right now.  But I’ll take your case.  I’m sure your parents will pay when they see you back home safe and sound and at your proper age.  So, for starters, can you remember what you were doing in Zip-Mart right before you discovered you’d suddenly grown old?"

"Yeah.  My mom strapped me in a shopping cart.  Then we went to the deli counter.  She ordered a pound of green Moon cheese.  I started whining because I was bored.  After that, she took me into the ladies rest room. That’s the last thing I remember until I found myself in the baggage compartment of the Earth Shuttle.  When it landed I discovered I was here in Los Angeles.  And very old."

"This case is gonna be easier to solve than I expected," said Burns.

"Really?"

"Yep.  I figure the Wicked Witch of the Stalls stole your youth.  It wouldn’t have happened if your mom had put you in the men’s room.  But I understand her reluctance, considering the Moon’s full of sleaze bags.  You see, this particular witch is extremely resentful of the male gender.  And you trod on her territory.  To her, that’s a king-size no-no.  You’re lucky she didn’t turn you into a frog."

"I oughta sue Zip-Mart for letting her lurk around the ladies room."

"Don’t bother.  You can’t possibly win. S he owns ten million shares.  That’s lotsa clout.  No way will they let you lock horns with a big shareholder like her.  Okay, I’ll catch the shuttle, go up there, and find your lost youth. Gimme your address so I know where to return it.  By the way, I suggest you go back on the same flight with me.  When you arrive, call your mom to explain the situation.  Otherwise, when you get home, she’ll scream her head off when you try to get into the house.  She won’t realize you’re her little Glixi who’s grown so very old. She might think you’re a home invader, or worse."

They departed on the shuttle, and went their separate ways when they arrived on the dark side of the Moon.

Burns took a cab to Zip-Mart.  On the way, he tried to figure a way of getting into the ladies room without getting arrested.  Didn’t take long for him to work out a scheme.

Inside the store, he headed for the women’s department.  He found a dress that flattered his tall, thin frame, plus a big-feathered straw hat that was all the rage on that side of the Moon.

Entering the ladies room to the sound of multiple flushes, he noticed the Wicked Witch of the Stalls staring into a mirror and squeezing pimples. Next to her was a duffel bag marked LOST YOUTH.  Pulling a blackjack from his pocket, Burns slammed her head from behind.  As she crumpled to the floor, he grabbed the bag and rushed out.

While hurrying toward the main exit, he checked inside the bag and found a bunch of small boxes.  Each bore a name.  Finding Glixi’s, he stuffed the box into his pocket.

At the front of the store, he noticed several loitering old timers.

"Hey . . . anybody here lost their youth?"

Six toothless mouths responded.

"Maybe it’s in one of these boxes," Burns said, dumping the bag’s contents onto the floor.  "See if your name’s on any of them."

While Burns hailed a taxi, a seven year old boy ran toward him.  "Thanks for finding my lost youth, Mister," he said.

Arriving at Glixi’s residence, he knocked on the door.  When Glixi opened it, Burns gave him the box.

"Thanks a lot. You found this so fast. You’re worth every penny. My dad said if this works, he’ll put a check in the mail, tonight."

Burns told Glixi to pour the box's contents into his left ear. Suddenly, a four old stood where an old white-haired man had been moments earlier.

Burns was on the Earth Shuttle before the witch awoke. She never knew what hit her. Nor did she have a clue as to the whereabouts of all the youth she’d stolen.

He decided to never again enter a Zip-Mart ladies room for any reason. Just in case the Wicked Witch of the Stalls had relatives who were also wicked, witchy, man haters, and big Zip-Mart stockholders.