Okay, so I've talked a lot about death, and even touched on religion.  It must be time to talk about sex.  Do I have your attention?  No doubt. Politics is perhaps the only major taboo topic that rarely gets raised in fantasy—except in a veiled form, and often distorted to play with ideas the author wants to convey.  I think I have mentioned the panel I was asked to moderate about love, when George R. R. Martin announced that he wanted to talk about sex.  One of the discoveries we made during that discussion was that we had all received much more criticism for the sexual aspects of our work than for the violence.  It seems that you can torture, maim, and kill all you want (aside from pets, of course) but if two or more characters hook up on the page, the fury will rise.

I think the primary reason for this is that our own relationship to sex is so individual.  Many of us have never experienced or committed a violent act, but almost all of us will experience and commit a sexual one.  So when we encounter violence on the page, we are able to be more objective about it. Does it seem suitable to the story?  Is it in character for this act to be done and in this fashion?  How does the author present the violent acts, and is this approach effective or not?

Sex, on the other hand, immediately calls up our own experiences, questions and concerns—as well as our code of morality.  You would expect violence to bring up the issue of morality as well, but this is often dealt with in the context of the story.  The violent act is presented as necessary for the protagonist or his loved ones to survive, hence it is a moral act.  Or it is extreme, and will therefore be punished later—bringing justice and balance.  Acts of a sexual nature are often more ambiguous. Depending on how old you are and how you were brought up, sex between any two consenting adults may be perfectly acceptable.  But for older generations or those with more conservative backgrounds, anything outside the bounds of a committed relationship between a single man and a single woman (or preferably a married couple), may cause offense.

Last issue, I suggested that, while we shouldn't obsess over offending any conceivable reader, it's still a good idea to temper our artistic urges and the needs of the book with a polite consideration of the reader's expectations and the effect our work will have on that reader.

Herewith, in honor of St. Valentine's Day, some things to think about when including sexual relationships in your fantasy.

How Explicit Should The Narrative Be?

How involved in the sexual aspect of the relationship is the narrative?  The spectrum of literary sexuality runs from mere innuendo to full-blown, deep POV, detailed scenes of sex acts.  The more specific you are, the more likely you are to dismay some readers.  Most readers have no problem with suggestive dialog or moments, or with the characters going back to their pavilion and emerging in the morning, looking satisfied.  They know the nature of the relationship, and what passes beyond the tent flap is not otherwise important to the narrative.

Intimacy and Character Identity

However, you may be writing the kind of book (Urban Fantasy, Paranormal Romance, gritty realism) that requires a greater level of engagement. Personally, I favor a light touch—with some moments of intimacy described, but without a blow-by-blow.  The key is to keep the encounter in proportion to its importance to the characters and to the work, and to really embed the scene in the particularities of your world and your people. Generic sex between generic people isn't very interesting.  Instead, bring your character's strengths, weaknesses, and individuality into the bedroom (or wherever they might be).  Make it a specific moment between people the reader wants to know more about.  Otherwise, leave it out.

Avoid Alienating Readers

I would strongly caution against placing the reader into the deep POV of a character engaging in or undergoing an extreme sexual act, including rape. It's your job as a writer to bring the experience of the work to vivid reality for the reader.  If you force a reader to go through such a highly personal and potentially repugnant act, they are unlikely to thank you for it.

How Status Plays in the Situation

What is the relative status of the individuals involved and how does the sexual act relate?  The king and the chambermaid, the lord and his manservant, the wizard and his acolytes, priestesses of the same goddess (or of competing ones).  Any one of those sexual groupings has potential for conflict both within the act and between the sexual characters and their greater world.  Status should be considered when you are writing the sexual scene, especially if it is a first encounter; it may be a huge factor in how the characters interact.  Fantasy novels, like fairy tales, often feature the success of relationships between persons of unequal status—but those relationships would be much more problematic in reality.  A medievalist friend reacted with incredulity to the central relationship in Disney's Aladdin, speculating that the princess would likely have been killed on her return because she would be considered impure after an unsupervised visit with a man.  Which leads us to . . .

~ Elaine Isaak, New Hampshire ©2010
Elaine's Blog on Novelist, Inc.