The night Death came, and I was busy.
Death visited Dume Towers tonight. He certainly picks his times. I'm far too busy to entertain guests.
There's an article brewing for the next Alienskin issue and I have a book to review before little Caligula eats it. Senga is in one of her moods, something to do with a suggestion I made concerning her mother, a sewing kit and a rabid dog. Honestly, the woman can't take a joke. Little Caligula has left teeth marks in most of the furniture and Underbed Monster has run off again. Not a good time to visit. Not good at all.
Well, he had come a long way so I had to bite my lip and let him in (Not my own lip, you understand. I have a jar of candied lips in case of such eventualities). I say 'let him in' but there's not really much of an option. He goes where he pleases, and only knocks at my door out of politeness.
Death had a purpose. He had come to see Caligula.
"I hope you're not planning to take him," I said. "I don't want to have to go to the trouble of making another one. It's all very messy and complicated and involves some unpleasantness."
"Take him? Why would I do that?" Death clacked his teeth at me. "I'm still hunting down the last of those wedding guests and I have several of your ancestors on my backlog list. Your new one isn't ready. I just came to see him."
"Oh. A social call."
"Aren't they always?" Death scratched between his eye-sockets with the tip of his scythe. "Your family are the most elusive I've ever had to deal with. I get the call to say one of you has died and by the time I get here, they're not home."
"We're an active family," I said. "No time to hang around." I showed him to Caligula's room and slid back the peephole cover on the door. Last time I did that, the little tyke shoved a six inch nail through it so this time I used some caution. Once I had established he was in his cot, I opened the door and let Death in.
Death paused on the threshold. "You don't think I'll scare him, do you? I mean, all the dark clothes and the bones and the scythe. Kids get a bit upset about those things."
I grinned. "He's a Dume. He scares me most of the time. Just don't let him get hold of that scythe."
Death drew eyebrows on his skull, rubbed them out and drew them on again, a little higher up. We went into the room quietly.
Little Caligula was fast asleep, gnawing on a rib. Death and I watched him for a while then left in silence. Once I had closed the door I allowed myself to breathe again. It's not often a visit to Caligula's room passes without incident.
"He looks dangerous," said Death. "Excellent. I'm sure he'll put a lot of business my way in the future. How about you?"
"He's not old enough to make a serious attempt on me yet. Don't get your hopes up."
"I mean, any stray spirits around as a result of your experiments? I could do a quick clean-up for you if you like."
"There might be a few. Help yourself." The place is crawling with them but most have learned to hide whenever Death visits. They hide when the Professor visits too. Only the recent ones ever get caught and as they are the noisiest, it's good to let Death have a quick sweep of the place once in a while. He disappeared along the corridor, scythe in one hand and soul bag in the other. I returned to my study.
Death appeared shortly afterwards, his soul bag bulging and squirming.
I nodded at the bag. "Good haul tonight?"
"Excellent. I still haven't caught your father though. Have you seen him recently?"
"No. He hasn't materialised since Caligula was born. He's probably worried about getting killed again."
Death shook his head. "Not even a Dume can do that twice. Anyway, best be off. I have to take this delivery and fill in the paperwork for them."
I would have pried for details, as usual, but I had too much to do. "I'll show you the door."
Death tilted his skull. "I know what a door looks like. Thanks for the offer but I don't have time for sightseeing." He strode to the wall and then through it.
I returned to my work. The article awaits and it has to be about horror. It also has to be something new. If only I had an idea, if only something would happen to inspire me.
Then Caligula woke up and howled.
"That's it," I thought. "There's nothing more horrific than a child!"
