It's done.
Well, I think that went rather well. I am now married, as was my father, and like him it seems I was just in time. Senga claims to be pregnant. There will be a successor in the Dume dynasty and I look forward with pride to the day he makes his first attempts at patricide. Naturally, I won't let him win. Marrying an already-pregnant woman has advantages, not least that it leaves the wedding night free for more important things.
I'll fix the child up with a fluorescent protein while Senga sleeps off the influence of copious quantities of the spirit known locally as 'Broken Glass'. Having experienced the after-effects of this drink, I have prepared the bathroom with suitably chilled toilet paper, bandages, ointment and soundproofing. As you see, I intend to be a good husband.
Once the next Dume is fluorescent, all I'll need are some ultraviolet lights and he won't be able to sneak up on me. Should he ever go to discos, the effect will be most attractive, I think. I wonder if red or green would be the better option? I'll go with green because that won't show on his skin in normal light. The red might, and the idea of a ruddy-cheeked Dume is nothing short of disgusting.
The Reverend Duodenum performed a most capable ceremony, although his insistence on nibbling acorns proved a little distracting. I almost skipped the part where I promise not to feed my new wife to the Slimy Swamp Thing, but he pulled me up on it. Pity. I had hoped to leave a 'get-out' clause, just in case. The Reverend declined to partake of the feast, which was a shame since he would surely have recognised several courses, if only by their hairstyles. Instead, he took his leave in something of a hurry. No matter. He had done his job, and done it well.
Senga's parents were there to give her away. They seemed enthusiastic at the prospect. In fact her father offered me a large bag of cash on the promise I never send her back. I accepted. It must be a family tradition of some kind, I suppose, and it seemed impolite to refuse.
The guests fled at ten, as arranged, but Death is still here. He's not allowed to start his chase until midnight but I let him have the cook to keep him happy. Having a disembodied and rather enraged cook floating around might have been a problem anyway, since the Cutting of the Cook part of the ceremony is not revealed to the kitchen staff in advance, for obvious reasons. Neither is the menu.
Death is in the sitting room with Red Stan, who wasn't invited but turned up anyway. They're playing some kind of card game and swapping souls. I don't mind Red Stan being here tonight, even if he is a bit of a pain most of the time. He's keeping Death out of my way.
The fatality count after the feast was mild for a Dume wedding and that's supposed to be good luck. Well, not for the guests involved, naturally, but for the Brood and Grime. So we're off to a good start.
Well, best get to work. I have to implant fluorescence in the new Dume's genes before he's born, and gestation periods for Dumes are variable. His birthday will, naturally, be Halloween but sometimes the baby is ready at the wrong time and has to be fed, watered, educated and disciplined by tube until it's time to emerge. He'll need to be fluorescent before he develops too far if it's going to work.
So I have a new wife (well, not so much 'new' as 'rarely used'), a new Dumelet on the way, and a bag of money.
It's been a pretty good day, overall.
