Another visit from Red Stan.
I had an interesting Beltane ceremony last night. After much chanting and shouting at Stumpy to keep the candles lit, I once more failed to materialize the Rabbit That Gives Eggs.
Instead, I was again visited by the red man with horns and a tail. He really is becoming something of a nuisance. He said his name was Stan, I think, but I didn’t quite catch it because every time he opens his mouth, flames come out. His hooves made more dents in my floor, too.
Anyway, Stumpy went off somewhere to sulk while I argued with Red Stan about his appearance. Stan insisted I called him again. I pointed out I had no idea who he was, and had never called him. He said I forced him to appear. I said I hadn’t even invited him to appear, and asked, quite politely I thought, if he wouldn’t mind just clearing out of the way so I could get on with calling the Rabbit. At this point, he produced a hat then pulled a rabbit out of it.
“Here you are,” he said. “I can get as many rabbits as you want. How about we make a deal?”
I eyed the rabbit. It looked perfectly ordinary to me. “Does it lay chocolate eggs?”
His eyes bulged. “Eggs? Flaming Hell, you don’t want much, do you? Okay, I’ll make it lay chocolate eggs. Now how about that deal?”
“I told you at Christmas, I never enter into any business arrangements with anyone who has a tail,” I said. “It’s unseemly.”
Stan pressed the rabbit back into the hat, which burst into flames and vanished. He’s good at those tricks, but overdoes the fire aspect, I think.
“So what do you want?” He placed his hands on his hips and glowered at me. I considered this very rude behaviour for a guest, especially an uninvited guest. I picked up my book and sought out the most powerful banishment spell in it. A few words later, and he was gone.
I sent him to the lowest depths of Hell. That’ll teach him.
