The Da Dume Code
I let Stumpy take a look at my masterpiece, now that I'm ready to send it out into the world. Why, I have no idea, since his mind doesn't work like normal people's.
He's scanning the text for what he calls 'subtext'. This is, apparently, different from 'footnotes' (of which there are none) or clauses in parentheses (of which there are none). He's looking for a secret message, a hidden meaning behind the words, a deep and devious comment on modern society.
Or so I believe.
If there's a hidden meaning in the book, I didn't put it there. If there's a secret message, it's so secret I don't even know what it is. As to a comment on society, well I have little to do with society aside from occasional visits to the village. Since they hide whenever I visit, I hardly think it counts as 'socialising'.
I wrote it for fun. That's it. I hope some agent, someday, will read it and have as much fun as I had writing it. Then I hope they'll sell it for me. I also hope to avoid those who send a bill along with a request for a full. Good luck trying to get money out of me, guys. I'm not in Scotland without reason, you know.
It has occured to me that if Stumpy wants to make a big deal out of any message he manages to derive from the book, it can't hurt sales. There could be whole committees of people debating over Stumpy's imagined conspiracy, and they'll need to read the book to decide whether it's there or not (a clue for the clueless: it's not).
Well, committees rarely do anything useful, so it'll keep them busy for a while. If they conclude there is some kind of underhand brainwashing going on, it'll help to sell the second book. For once, I think Stumpy's lunacy might prove to be of use.
