Dr. Dume ~ The Doctor is In

The darkness is drawing in here, so I can spend more time active and less time hiding in the shadowy recesses of the castle.

I have sent off the next article - but it's not so much an article this time. It occured to me that I have spent years telling you all what to do; write about this, don't mention that, and so on. Since Christmas is coming, I decided it was time to give you all a rest. So it's a little bit of entertainment rather than an article.

I hope it will amuse (assuming it's accepted, of course) and I hope it sparks an idea or two.

Yes, it's still meant to start those thoughts moving. It's dark outside. Time for all good horror writers to sharpen their pencils and wonder about the things moving unseen in the night.

No slacking now.

Posted by Dr. Dume at 05:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The time draws nigh for the next Alienskin article. I have something rather special in mind for this one, if I can pull it off in time.

It's on there pretty tight. I'll get Senga to help.

Posted by Dr. Dume at 02:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I slept right through Halloween! And the Fifth of November, when in the UK it's traditional to poke some guy with a fork until he burns...I never did get the hang of it but it involves effigies and fire so I always go along.

It's Senga's fault. She was supposed to set my alarm for October 31st and she insists she did, but it made no sound at all. I am distraught.

Well, I suppose the next thing will be Christmas and the ceremonies to invoke the guy in the red suit who likes fireplaces. That's never worked before either.

Senga is still on about having the place monitored. I fitted new eyes into Great-Uncle Caligula and hung him on a bush outside, but I don't think that's going to be enough to satisfy her. Cameras, she says. Cameras. I hate cameras.

They cost money.

Posted by Dr. Dume at 02:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The Ferals were roaming around the castle all last night. It took some effort to rouse Senga and send her up to the roof to heat the lead. I shouted for a while before I remembered that it was futile and eventually had to go and wake her myself.

Well, today she is making unreasonable female-type demands of me. She wants cameras to watch the outside of the castle all the time. I can't understand why. The castle hasn't done anything, ever, as far as I can remember. Watching it do nothing sounds like an awful waste of time and money.

She's not going to shut up until I at least look like I'm doing something about it so I have rooted out a potential camera housing. Something inconspicuous that nobody will notice. I'm sure she liked it because she screamed louder than ever.

Now I'll have to fit a camera into it. Perhaps I should rinse it first.

Posted by Dr. Dume at 12:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Senga is now fully housetrained and hardly screams at all. I can get back to work now that I don't have to watch her all the time.

If anything, she's overzealous. She has de-rusted the chains in the dungeons and removed all the cobwebs. My pleas on behalf of homeless spiders fell on deaf ears. Well, how was I to know? She didn't tell me she was deaf. Even that time I shouted at her, 'Are you deaf?', she said nothing. Apparently she lipreads so she only knows I'm speaking if she's looking at me, and she doesn't like to do that. Conversation is going to be difficult.

Shiny manacles and no cobwebs or grime. Well, I don't know. I don't think those dungeons will ever be the same. Even Scabby Ted has clean teeth now. How she managed that, I'll never know. There are no signs of shredding on her anywhere.

The castle has never gleamed before. I wonder if it will attract fairies, and whether the Ferals will let any get this far? It'll be interesting to see. My great-uncle, Caligula Dume, often said that fairies were wonderful but I've never tasted one myself.

I wonder if she'll find the things I've lost? The Phantasm ball, Jugular the Clown, and my invisibility suit have all been missing for a long time. Many other things were lost by ancestors down the generations, including an entire army of mechanical warriors, or so my father once told me. He said they were painted to look like terracotta and a long-ago Dume planned to hide them in another country until they were released, whereupon he would activate them and cause mayhem on a grand scale. I don't even know where the control box is, much less the warriors.

Well, Senga wants to clean my computer. It will no doubt improve my typing if I can see the letters on the keyboard once more, so I'll go and do something else while she gets on with it.

Posted by Dr. Dume at 12:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Time to relax a little. The article is done and will, I hope, suffice. Time has been short, what with training this new assistant of mine.

I have discovered her name is Senga and that she can cook. Soon, I hope, she will be able to do it without screaming whenever she opens the larder. I don't know what's wrong with her. It's all fresh. Some of those maggots have only just hatched.

She can clean, although she doesn't yet seem to have grasped the notion that the lab needs cleaning too. Well, give her time.

Once she tried to leave the castle, without even being sacked. An encounter with a Feral or two soon sent her rushing back. I don't think I need to put the chains on again. She won't even go near the windows now.

She's settling in slowly. I hope she can manage a conversation in a week or so. There's no hurry.

Posted by Dr. Dume at 11:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)